Pasanganmu Lebih Cinta dengan 'Rasa Cemas'-nya?

Jika salah satu teman, keluarga, dan pasanganmu sering merasakan cemas, kamu harus tahu betul apa yang mereka alami. Karena rasa cemas berlebihan dapat berdampak buruk pada hidup mereka. Lebih tepatnya, kecemasan akan berujung pada kesehatan jiwa.

Anxiety // anx-i-ety

- distress or uneasiness of mind caused by fear of danger or misfortune - earnest but tense desire; eagerness - Psychiatry. a state of apprehension and psychic tension occuring in some forms of mental disorder.

Berikut definisi Anxiety Disorders menurut National Instute of Mental Health:

"Occasional anxiety is a normal part of life. You might feel anxious when faced with a problem at work, before taking a test, or making an important decision. But anxiety disorders involve more than temporary worry or fear. For a person with an anxiety disorder, the anxiety does not go away and can get worse over time. The feelings can interfere with daily activities such as job performance, school work, and relationships. There are several different types of anxiety disorders. Examples include generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder, and social anxiety disorder."

Untuk itu bantuan dan dukungan dari teman, keluarga, dan pasangan sangat membantu mereka yang mengalami anxiety disorder, tapi dengan syarat pasangan dan kerabatmu paham betul apa do's and don'ts nya.

Seperti yang dilansir dari Huffpost, mereka bertanya pada pembaca apa yang mereka harapkan ketika pasangan yang mereka cintai memiliki kecemasan berlebihan.

1. Lebih banyak mendengarkan dan mengerti

“You don’t have to have the answers. It can’t be fixed even though you want to fix it. Just listen. Let them know that you’re there. Let them have space if they need it, or if they need a hug, please indulge.” ― Allyson L.

2. Pahami kecemasan nya seakan pasangan mu bisa melawati itu semua, bukan malah menganggap kecemasan itu sesuatu yang tidak nyata

“Don’t treat it as if it’s a passing thing or that it doesn’t exist. Truly understand if your partner could make it go away, they would.” ― Jenn S.

3. Dukunganmu berarti untuk hidupnya

“I have been with my boyfriend for over a year. I know I’m not always the easiest to love. I will get on his nerves and sometimes make him wonder why I act the way I do. But when I’m overthinking and doubting myself, it means the world that he’s still by my side ― accepting our differences and still loving me when I sometimes find it hard to love myself.” ― Melissa H.

4. Jangan cuma bilang 'tenang' atau malah mengejeknya kalau pasanganmu hanya berpikiran irasional

"Calm down is about as effective (and just as annoying) as trying to baptize a cat. We are usually 1000 percent aware whatever we are anxious about is irrational. Telling ourselves that does not magically turn our brains off.” ― Kelly R.

5. Jangan mudah tersinggung hanya karena ia mengeluh

“Know that our anxiety is not about you, even if you think you triggered it. We’re feeling intensely overwhelmed. Offer us something that may help distract or decrease the intensity. Part of our anxiety is in the brain and cannot be helped. Other externals factors can be. Offer an escape (i.e.: ‘Let’s go outside’) or anything you know might help reduce our symptoms.” ― Ryan N.

6. Satu yang harus kamu ingat: Tidak semua rasa cemas itu sama

“My husband and I both suffer from severe anxiety and depression. While we both suffer, it affects us differently and what helps me may not help him. I need physical contact and reassurance. He needs space. Knowing what helps your significant other will make your relationship strong.” ― Melissa M.

7. Tidak semua rasa cemas akan menimbulkan efek negatif padamu

“Anxiety is not always bad. Some days, loving a person with anxiety means they will think deeply and passionately about loving you. Nervous energy is still energy. Rarely does my anxiety allow me to make decisions without deep and meticulous thought. You will be thought of and cared for like you never have before.” ― Hope J.

8. Sabar

“Patience truly is a virtue. You may not always understand our anxiety, but as long as you show love and compassion for our discomfort, that’s really the most important thing. My boyfriend will often just check in if we’re at a party, discreetly asking if I’m OK. Just a simple way to show he cares.” ― Christina R.

9. Do the research to understand them better

“Be informed about our illness. Understand the feelings and reality of what your partner is facing and be there in the same way you would for a person who has a physical illness. Learn our triggers.” ― Melissa J.

10. Kamu tidak bisa menyembuhkannya, but that's OK

“My husband had to learn that sometimes what’s wrong doesn’t require fixing― just a minute for me to process.” ― Kayla D.

11. Jangan anggap remeh

“When my anxiety disorder was undiagnosed and untreated, I was having panic attacks that I believed were heart attacks or blot clots. My fiancé drove me to the hospital both times and took it very seriously. It meant a lot that someone believed me that something was wrong, even if it wasn’t as life-threatening as we thought. Anxiety can be terribly crippling and it just helps sometimes for someone not to minimize it or brush it off.” ― Erika C.

12. Beri semangat padanya bahwa mereka bisa mandiri

“Participate in healing activities with me or encourage me to stay active in things like yoga, dancing and walking. Encouraging me also means allowing me time to do these activities by taking the kids for a bit.” ― Sandra B.

13. Ingatkan mereka bahwa pergi ke psikiater atau psikolog bukanlah hal yang memalukan

“Encourage your partner to see a therapist. Getting treatment for anxiety can save your partner’s life, increase their overall wellbeing and improve your relationship.” ― Hope J.

14. Dampingi ia di waktu terburuknya

“I have a very understanding boyfriend who not only ‘gets’ my need to sit in the closet sometimes, but bought me a blanket for when I am sitting in the closet and will join me in there when my anxiety is too much for me to leave my safe place.” ― Pixie M.