The Psychology of Loneliness: Why It Happened and How to Cope

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Did you know? As we age, individuals often feel lonely. Usually, loneliness starts to be experienced when we enter adolescence, because this is the phase where we transition into adulthood followed by several changes such as in biological, psychological, and social aspects. Not only teenagers, loneliness is also often felt by the elderly. Loneliness is often considered a common problem for older people, but teenagers also feel a deep sense of alienation. In this modern era, loneliness is an increasingly relevant topic to discuss, as technology and social media dominate social interactions.

In the adolescent phase, people often face challenges that can lead to loneliness. Changing social dynamics, peer pressure and mental health issues can contribute to their feelings of loneliness. On the other hand, the feelings of loneliness felt by the elderly often result from the loss of loved ones, physical limitations, and reduced social networks due to ageing.

Research shows that loneliness can lead to mental health disorders, such as anxiety, depression, and physical health disorders such as heart disease and decreased cognitive function. Therefore, the impact of loneliness cannot be ignored. By using the right approach, we can help create a more supportive environment and reduce feelings of loneliness among adolescents and the elderly.

According to Peplau and Perlman (1982), loneliness is an unpleasant emotional experience that arises from a mismatch between a person's need for close relationships with others and the level of social familiarity they actually have.

According to Weiss in Sharma, loneliness can be divided into two categories, emotional loneliness and social loneliness. Emotional loneliness occurs when a person feels unloved, unappreciated, or lacks strong emotional ties with others, so they feel they do not have deep and meaningful relationships. On the other hand, social loneliness arises due to a lack of social interaction, limited social networks, and lack of effective communication with others, so they feel isolated and disconnected from the social community.

Research shows that the prevalence of loneliness among the elderly in Indonesia is as high as 64% (Susanty et a., 2022). In geriatric homes, loneliness can range from 56% to 95.5%, suggesting that this population is particularly vulnerable to loneliness.

Loneliness is also widely experienced by adolescent age group. Survey results show that about 30% of teenagers report feeling lonely, especially amidst social changes and pressure from social media.

Types of Loneliness

1. Emotional Loneliness

Loneliness that occurs due to the absence or end of a romantic relationship or due to the absence of an intimate emotional connection with another person. Emotional loneliness can be experienced by adults who are single, divorced, or have lost their partner.

Social Loneliness

Loneliness that occurs due to a lack of integration with social networks, or because they feel they do not belong or are not recognized in a group. Social loneliness can be experienced by someone who moves around, is less active, or even has no connection in a group or community.

2. Existential Loneliness

Loneliness that occurs due to feeling of isolation and fear, or because of anxiety about the meaning of life. Existential loneliness includes worries about isolation, alienation, fear of death, lack of personal freedom, and anxiety about the meaning of life.

3. Physical Loneliness

Loneliness that occurs due to feeling alone in a quite atmosphere, either physically separated from the crowd or distance and time from other people. Loneliness is different from solitude. Loneliness is when we choose not to engage in social interactions, while loneliness is when we do not get the desired social interaction.

Loneliness in Adolescents

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Loneliness in teenagers is a complicated problem because it can be influenced by many things. This sense of equality can arise due to mixture of problems within the teenager (psychological conditions) and their environment (social pressure). There are various factors that can influence the emergence of feelings of loneliness in teenagers, including:

1. Internal Factors:

a. Teenagers who have introverted or closed personalities make them tend to choose to be alone or meet with few friends. Teenagers who have an introverted nature usually tend to be shy and very nervous in unfamiliar environments. This makes it difficult for teenagers with introverted personalities to interact or build good social relationships with other people. As a result, introverted teenagers have few friends and this makes these teenagers lonely.

b. Feelings of insecurity in teenagers can also cause teenagers to withdraw from social life because they feel unimportant or even not accepted in the social environment. As a result, these teenagers will be lonely because they don't socialize enough with other people and spend their time feeling low.

2. External Factors:

a. Excessive use of smartphones by teenagers can cause addiction, one of which is social problems in the form of intrapersonal problems such as low self-esteem or low communication skills, and interpersonal problems such as loneliness. One of the reasons why smartphones can trigger loneliness in teenagers is that teenagers tend to spend their time just playing on cell phones and the intensity of socializing directly is very minimal. This makes teenagers have difficulty socializing with other people in real life and end up withdrawing.

b. Divorce between the teenager's parents can also cause loneliness. This is because teenagers who come from divorced parents tend to feel uncared for and lack love. When facing parental divorce, children who reach adolescence will experience deep trauma. These teenagers tend to blame themselves, which over time can cause the teenager to feel unloved and dumped. Teenagers will lose concentration on studying, lose self-esteem and self-confidence, teenagers will also feel embarrassed when their peers find out about the divorce

The Negative Impact of Loneliness on Adolescents

The feeling of loneliness experienced by someone certainly has a significant negative impact. Here are the negative effects of loneliness on adolescents:

1. Mental health

Mental health is an important aspect of teenage life, and loneliness can play a significant role in increasing the risk of depression and anxiety. Teens who feel lonely often experience feelings of worthlessness and low self-esteem, which in turn can worsen their mental state. Research shows that teens who are trapped in loneliness tend to be more prone to mental disorders compared to their peers who have strong and supportive social ties.

2. Sleep quality

Feelings of loneliness can also disrupt a person's sleep patterns, especially teenagers. They may experience insomnia or difficulty sleeping, which also affects their concentration in studying or other activities. In addition, poor sleep quality can also contribute to more serious mental health issues.

3. Physical health

Not only mental health, the feelings of loneliness experienced by teenagers also affect physical health. Teenagers who experience loneliness have a higher risk of physical health problems, such as high blood pressure, heart disease, and immune system disorders. Research shows that loneliness can have an impact equivalent to the risks posed by smoking.

4. Social interaction

Loneliness has an impact on mood, which in turn affects teenagers' social interactions. When someone feels isolated, they may avoid social interactions, which further exacerbates feelings of loneliness and negative affect. This can hinder the development of social skills that are important for them.

5. Risky behavior

Adolescents who feel lonely tend to engage in risky behaviors, such as substance abuse, aggressive behavior, and others. They may seek ways to cope with feelings of loneliness in unhealthy ways.

How to Overcome Loneliness in Adolescents

1. Join a community

Joining a social community is a very effective step to overcome teenage loneliness. By participating in groups or organizations, teens can build positive relationships with people around them. For example, if a teen loves music, joining a school band or choir group can help them find new friends and build deeper relationships. These activities not only provide opportunities to meet new friends, but also create a sense of belonging and connectedness that can reduce feelings of loneliness. In addition, a supportive community can provide much-needed emotional support, helping teens feel more accepted and valued. Involvement in community activities can also boost self-confidence and provide valuable experiences that can enrich their lives.

2. Develop a hobby

Say no to loneliness, let's develop your hobbies! Developing a hobby is an effective way to combat loneliness. Hobbies not only provide an outlet to express creativity, but can also help teens build social networks. For example, if a teen loves photography, they can join a local photography group or take online classes. In addition, hobbies can provide structure and a positive routine in daily life, which is crucial for mental health. By engaging in activities they enjoy, teens can distract themselves from feelings of loneliness and find joy in small achievements. Hobbies can also be a way to meet people with similar interests, which can expand their social circle.

3. Talk to the people closest to you

Open and honest communication with those closest to you is essential to overcoming loneliness. Teens need to feel comfortable to share their feelings with friends, family, or mentors. By expressing their feelings and seeking emotional support, they can build deeper and more supportive relationships. Discussions about feelings of loneliness can help reduce the stigma that often accompanies these feelings. In addition, talking about problems can help teens find solutions together and feel more connected to others. Building trust and closeness with loved ones can create a safe environment where teens feel valued and heard.

4. Listening to music

Listening to music is a simple yet effective way to boost your mood and reduce feelings of loneliness. Music has the power to create a cozy and relaxing atmosphere. Choosing soft or instrumental music can help calm the mind and reduce anxiety. In addition, music can also be a means of expressing feelings. When teens listen to songs whose lyrics reflect feelings of loneliness or longing, they can feel connected to the experiences of others. This provides recognition that they are not alone in their feelings. Creating a playlist of songs that they love or that have special meaning can be a fun way to celebrate emotions and create moments of reflection.

5. Self-controlling

Self-control starts with good self-understanding. Adolescents need to recognize the feelings of loneliness they experience and understand the triggers of these feelings. By being aware of the situations or conditions that make them feel lonely, teens can more easily manage their emotions. For example, if they feel lonely when they are at home, they can find ways to engage in activities outside the home or communicate with friends. Realizing that loneliness is a normal feeling and can be experienced by anyone is an important step in this process. In addition, teens can learn self-control techniques, such as meditation, deep breathing, or journaling, to help them cope with negative feelings and improve mental well-being.

6. Using technology positively

While social media is often associated with feelings of loneliness, if used wisely, these platforms can be useful tools for staying connected. Teach teens to use social media to interact with their friends, share experiences and support each other. For example, they can create chat groups to share daily activities or plan meet-ups. Using video calling apps like Zoom, Skype, or WhatsApp can help teens stay connected with distant friends. Organizing weekly video sessions to play games or just chat can provide a sense of closeness despite being physically separated.

Loneliness in The Elderly

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As we get older, many people feel lonely, especially in old age. Many elderly people experience major changes in their lives, such as routines where they used to work but now no longer work (retire), the loss of a partner, children who live far away/are busy, and so on. Let's identify the factors that cause loneliness in old age below:

1. Internal Factors:

a. Decreased physical function, such as sensory and motor skills, which interferes with daily activities. Decreased physical function in the elderly causes problems that are closely related to psychological problems, including feelings of anxiety, sadness, and loneliness. This makes the elderly feel inferior and thus withdraw from other people.

b. Feelings of anxiety, sadness and excessive stress can make older people suffer from mental health. As a result, the elderly will tend to feel lonely, even when they are surrounded by people.

2. External Factors:

a. Elderly people who are far from their children, grandchildren and relatives tend to feel lonely and miss their families. Elderly people who live alone and far from family, or in an environment that is less supportive tend to be more vulnerable to loneliness due to minimal social interaction.

b. Elderly people who lose their spouse, friend or closest family member also lose emotional support. This lack of emotional support can make seniors feel lonely.

Negative Impact of Loneliness on The Elderly

Not much different from the negative impact felt by teenagers, here are the negative impacts of feeling lonely on the elderly:

1. Mental health

Loneliness felt by the elderly can trigger mental health disorders such as depression. Lack of social and emotional support makes the elderly feel isolated and lose interest in activities they previously enjoyed. In addition, the feeling of loneliness felt by the elderly can also make their anxiety increase. This is due to uncertainty about the future and the inability to interact with others.

2. Physical health problems

Loneliness can affect the immune system which makes the elderly vulnerable to illness. In addition, other physical health problems can also be experienced by the elderly, such as heart disease, diabetes, cholesterol, digestive problems, and others.

3. Sleep disorders

Not only teenagers, it turns out that sleep disorders can also be experienced by the elderly. Many elderly people have difficulty sleeping due to loneliness, this can be caused by negative thoughts or constant anxiety. Poor sleep quality can lead to fatigue and affect overall mental and physical health.

4. Decreased quality of life

Loneliness can reduce overall quality of life. The elderly feel helpless, lack confidence, and lose motivation to participate in social activities or hobbies they enjoy. Loneliness can cause the elderly to feel unappreciated and purposeless, which negatively impacts their outlook on life.

5. Cognition and memory

Loneliness in the elderly can trigger a prolonged stress response, which can affect brain health, which plays an important role in memory and learning. The lonely elderly may engage less in social activities that stimulate cognition. This lack of social stimulation can also accelerate the decline in cognitive function. Loneliness can also affect long-term memory and short-term memory. The lonely elderly tend to find it difficult to remember new information and difficult to recall previously learned experiences or information.

How to Overcome Loneliness in The Elderly

1. Increase social interaction

Encouraging the elderly to participate in social communities, clubs or hobby groups can be an important step in reducing loneliness. These activities not only provide opportunities to meet new people, but also help strengthen existing social bonds. For example, joining an art group, book club or sports group can provide a sense of community and support. In addition, group activities often create a fun and supportive environment, where the elderly can share common experiences and interests.

2. Family support

Families play a very important role in reducing loneliness in the elderly. Emotional and physical support from family members can make a big difference. Spending time together, doing enjoyable activities such as cooking, watching movies or playing board games can improve the quality of relationships. Also, listening attentively to the concerns and feelings of the elderly can help them feel valued and cared for. Families can also help older adults connect with their friends, both in person and through technology.

3. Technology for Connection

In this digital age, technology can be a very useful tool to overcome loneliness. Teaching the elderly how to use technology, such as video calls, messaging apps, or social media, can help them stay connected with distant friends and family. For example, organizing weekly video sessions with grandchildren or old friends can provide a sense of closeness despite being physically separated. In addition, many apps and online platforms offer communities for the elderly, where they can interact with others who share similar interests.

4. Physical Activity

Encouraging the elderly to participate in physical activity is not only beneficial for their physical health, but can also be an effective way to socialize. Activities such as walking in the park, taking a yoga class, or joining a gymnastics group can provide opportunities to meet new people and build relationships. In addition, physical activity can improve mood and reduce stress, which in turn can help reduce feelings of loneliness.

5. Volunteer Programs

Encouraging the elderly to engage in volunteering can provide a sense of purpose and meaning in their lives. Not only does volunteering increase social interaction, but it also allows the elderly to make a positive contribution to society. For example, they can help out at a nursing home, become a mentor to children, or get involved in environmental programs. These activities can help the elderly feel more connected to the community and boost their sense of self-worth.

6. Professional Consultation

If feelings of loneliness persist despite trying various means, it is important to seek help from a mental health professional. Therapists or councelors can provide the necessary support and help the elderly develop strategies to cope with loneliness. They can offer more structured approaches, such as cognitive behavioral therapy, which can help the elderly change negative thought patterns and improve social skills. In addition, professional support can help identify deeper issues, such as depression or anxiety, that may be contributing to feelings of loneliness.

Conclusion

The conclusion of this text shows that loneliness is an unpleasant emotional experience that can be experienced by various age groups, including teenagers and the elderly. Loneliness can be divided into several types, such as emotional, social, existential and physical loneliness, each of which has different causes and impacts. In teenagers, loneliness is often triggered by internal factors such as introverted personality and insecurity, as well as external factors such as excessive smartphone use and parental divorce. Meanwhile, in older people, loneliness can be caused by declining physical function, loss of a spouse, and lack of social support.

The negative impact of loneliness can affect mental and physical health, sleep quality, and social interactions. To cope with loneliness, both teens and elders can take steps such as increasing social interactions, family support, utilizing technology, and participating in physical or volunteer activities. If feelings of loneliness persist, it is important to seek help from a mental health professional. With the right approach, individuals can reduce feelings of loneliness and improve their quality of life.

Loneliness is not just a feeling, but a message from the heart asking for connection. From teenagers who feel isolated in the busy digital world to seniors who have lost the warmth of past relationships, loneliness comes in many forms. However, behind these challenges, there is hope. Through the courage to share, engagement in community, and exploration of hobbies, we can turn equality into opportunities for growth and connection.

Let's remember, loneliness is a call to care more about each other. By supporting each other, whether through simple conversations or small, sincere actions, we can create a warmer world, a place where no one feels alone.

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